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I heard a loud knock at my door- what the fuck? It’s 10 pm…who could be here now?

I peeked out and saw you leaning against the doorway – a pleading  look on your handsome face. 

Curious, I obligingly opened the door, “Hey…what are…” you took a step towards me, slowly cupped my cheek you kissed me. Long…slow…sensual…I was lost…the world  was melting away…frozen in time. My body aching in a turmoil of emotion and  passionate thought.  
 
You slowly and teasingly pulled away... your eyes searching mine,  your husky voice conveying emotion, “All I see before me is a path of darkness without you in it. My
heart feels as though it’s stopped beating and my breath stolen from me until I  can have you in my arms again. You are my light that guides the way…my  strength…”he wiped a tear from my face and kissed me slowly, “I can’t imagine
my life without you…take a journey with me and let’s see where it goes.”

You wrapped your arms around me  hugging me close, “Together baby...”


 
 
 

Alive...

11/27/2012

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There's a darkness that follows me... A past that torments me... 

Threatens to overcome me...

It's when I'm with you, that darkness fades away...

I feel alive again....

My heart beating again...

I find I need you like my next breath of air...

Longing to have you near...

Feel your touch...

Taste your lips...

Aching for the next moment ... Second with you...as long as I can...




 
 
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I seek but I cannot find...I search but I do not see...oh my beloved why are you hidden from me. I've been looking for so long hoping to find you...in my youth I blindly thought I'd found you but instead I was heartbroken and lost. I know you are lonely as I am...lost and confused your heart searches for me but cannot find me. Both of us longing to just be in each others arms and finally feel complete.
Until then...all I have are my fantasies of you...my imagination of how we'd meet, how you'd feel, the sensations I'd get to just be near you...

When we see each other everything will click into place...whether by photo or from across the room....your blue eyes capturing me - feeling a rush along my body making my toes curl with needing your touch, how your arms and height would compliment every curve in my body. When we finally touch.....feel each others lips....everything will fade away...

Where are you now?
I imagine you...laying in bed, the cool night air from the open window cooling off your heated skin. Your bed pulling you into deep comfort...and yet you cannot sleep. Your heart keeping you awake as the loneliness you try to hide begins to sink in. Sadness crawls upon you as you know...and believe someone is out there for you..

For now this is all I have...my endearing love letters to you in the endless search and waiting for the day we finally cross each others path. 

I'll be dreaming of you....

 
 
 

Lost...

11/14/2012

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The heat of my body is alive with anticipation from the thought of your touch...the taste of your lips...the feeling of your skin against mine. All I have are these ideas as I lay down at night....the solace of my bed a reminder that it's all hope that I breath on. Imagining your single touch sets my soul on fire....my insides weak with recognition of the long lost emotions you'd invoke from me. The lonely ache that comes from it when I see it's only in my mind....the yearning to just want you near...to feel your touch as affirmation thatyou're really out there. Knowing i'll melt when your eyes look into mine....I can feel your hands caress a breath away...wanting so much to just feel alive again in your arms. Like an addiction my soul searches for you...for what have been seeking....needing...to just feel you close to me...

Most of these things undefinable...but there ...growing deep in the heart of me..is a tidal wave of rich emotion. Emotions in me I thought long lost...growing feelings in me I didnt think would ever be found...
Making me alive again...complete

Yet theres a fear welling up in me like a slow tidle wave...fear of rejection...losing myself...losing you...that it's hopeless to need and want you to have all these feelings, all the same affection and yearning...and the fear of heartbreak...how so fragile i am...
Are you really out there...?Am I just wasting away in hope?
And if i fell for you....would you be there to catch me.....?

 
 
Waiting to have you here, to feel you close...

To feel your touch....from simply holding my hand as we walk together, the heat of your body as we're pressed close in the chill of the night.
To finally taste those lips that have caressed me with so many words...that my mind has been dreaming of... 
To feel real affection that we've both wanted for so long...the heat of your breath on my skin as you whisper to me...
Laying with each other at night..our naked bodies pleasureably sapped and entertwined...
Waking up with your warm body holding me...next to me...speaking lovingly soft to me...

Waiting for you in anticipation...even if it's everyday...waiting for the time when it's more than just an idea...
Not settling for less....but waiting for something grand...
Knowing we are both worth waiting for...